nothing in this world last forever,

now that i just realise.

it makes me a better person.

someone with a good perspective of life.

having a motive

a goal

a repent

in life..

its just for awhile

just awhile.

lately. after the recent death of arwah kazims. i suddenly have a real resolution. actually, i edi have a goal for 2010. to change my old habits. so far so good. trying to tone down the way i laugh. ergh. thats very difficult though. well, its time for me to change, looking forward for the future that lies ahead for me.

during the hoo haa of arwah kazims death, i was very depressed. i cried my heart out. he used to be someone special in my heart. someone i wont forget. i told fiance that my fren just passed away. he told me to siap n he fetch me at kallang. we ride to jurong. i had sudden cries on the way there.. fiance was cool, he just ask me to baca al fatihah. teh moment i saw jay under arwah kazims void deck, i cried my heart out. jay hug me n say sabar.. i cant. i superly cant!! the whole ordeal was abit too harsh for me to accept.

but fiance was there, right next to me. all along reciting prayers for him. even when we went to ziarahi kubur nye arwah.. he was there reciting prayers. never ask much abt me n arwah. he always say let it go n sedekah kan al fatihah.

im touched by sabri. my fiance is someone i can never find. where can you get a guy who is like fiance siaa. n thats when i realise, HE IS THE REAL ONE FOR ME. the person who will bimbing aku ke pangkal yg benar. the guy who will love me for who i am. n i know he is the most promising guy ive ever met.

and i told affyq about how i felt, his reply was

"wanie, insya'allah 2010 will be a better year for u and sabri kay. i love you. i am thank ful that aku kenal kau. u are a great friend. xoxo"

thanx dude! i love you too..

im just a nervous wreck right now. the weird thing is. im just afraid if im never gonna make it in this marriage. im scared i wont b a great mummy n wife. but i know i can. it takes time i guess. FEBRUARY! HERE I COME!!